Torn
by amyfoxyfox
Summary: Sea Patrol fic Mike and Kate pairing Kate's been keeping a secret from Mike! What is it?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Sea Patrol

I'm kind of stuff on the Sleeping Arrangement fic at the moment, I'm going to finish it soon though, but the idea for this came along and I had to write it down

By the way, for this story Kate never comes to the pub with the boys, as soon as she gets ashore she disappears.

This is dedicated to my best friend. You know who are

She'd always had life planned out; she was going to be rise high in the ranks of the Navy, she been determined of that from day one. She'd never really thought much about family, about finding a nice guy and settling down. After her childhood, and the relationship she'd had with her mother, she knew that if she had ever had children, she'd be a better mother than her mother had ever been. Five years ago, all her plans she had ever created for herself changed.

First, she fell in love, with a man named Mike Flynn. He was perfect, the only man she could ever seeing it work with, but they had a problem, they were both in the Navy and if there was one thing the Navy looked down upon, it was fraternisation. He left her, for no apparent reason, one warm November night. She found a letter on her bed side table, with an apology and a sincere goodbye.

She was miserable for weeks after, emotional and throwing up all the time. She tried to place the blame on stress, but she knew that wouldn't cut it, and when she finally dragged herself out to the doctors, she found out a secret that, at the time, almost tore her apart. She was pregnant, with Mike's child.

She decided to keep the child, because she believed everyone should have a place in this world, and nine months later, she had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. She named him William Michael Flynn. From the moment he was born, he became her world; she loved him, perhaps more than anything else in the world, even his father.

Five years later

'Will, come in here and eat your dinner' she called after a blond headed boy, with boundless energy, 'then we can go for a walk along the beach,'

'Okay, Mum,' the young boy said, as he finally flopped down to the kitchen stool and began eating. Kate loved times like these, shore leave, the freedom to spend time with her son. She really had gotten her life together in the past five years. Her career in the Navy was fantastic and while she was out at sea, she son stayed with her friend, Nicky. Nicky was more like a mix between a sister and a mother. Kate had met her just after Will was born, and they immediately became friends. Nicky had always longed for children of her own, but was unable to have any, and so when Kate had first asked her to look after Will, while she was away at sea, she'd jumped at the chance. She was part of their family now, almost a surrogate mother to Will.

Her life was perfect, well that was until she was posted to the Hammersley, to Mike. She'd always believed that she was over him, but after being on that boat for two days and receiving her first real smile from him that made her knees go weak, she realised she was far from over him. His presence had also brought up the fact that she had never told him about their son. She wanted to get to know him again, to make sure that he wasn't a threat before telling him. She'd realised that he was no threat soon after, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him, it still hurt thinking about how he had left her, and she didn't want that for her son.

He'd always wondered where she went when she got off the ship. She never came to the pub with the rest of the crew. He'd heard them talking the other day, most of then suspected she had a boyfriend ashore, and so that's where she went. That didn't feel right to him though, he couldn't stand to think of her wrapped in anyone else's arms. He knew something was up, but he'd never get it out of her, so he left it. In his cabin, though away from everyone else, it began to eat him away.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Here's Part two

Sea leave was over once again, and Kate was back on the Hammersley. She loved being aboard ship, but she hated being away from her son. Every time she left, it was hard, every though she'd been doing it for years. She knew that it was tough on Will as well, but at least today they would both have the sea to keep their minds off each other. Kate, because of her job and Will, because he finally persuaded Nicky to take him fishing again. He loved fishing, ever since he was tall enough to walk, had he loved the calmness of it. Kate took him most of the time, in the dingy that she'd bought years ago. She wasn't a huge fan, but it kept him quiet for once and gave her a chance to spend some time with him. Nicky hated going out there, but every once in a while, Will's whinging got the better of her and she took him. Today was going to be one of those rare days.

Mike was standing on the bridge, watching his XO. She always looked happier when she came back from shore leave, kind of physically refreshed. At the moment there was a lull in activity, they had gotten the ship out of the base and were sailing smoothly out to sea. She seemed to have this mysterious smile on her face, as though she had a secret no one else knew, but would die to find out, kind of like the Mona Lisa. She looked as though she was remembering something, someone and he was jealous. What he really wanted now was a job, something to get his mind off her or at least some kind of excuse so they would be physically separated for a while, so he could have the chance to rearrange his thoughts onto anything but her. He finally couldn't take it any longer; he had to get out of there before he ended up grabbing her and kissing her right then and there, just to show everyone she was his. He took his chance to leave, and almost ran to his cabin, trying to find some kind of self control over his emotions.

Two days later and she had caught on that the CO had started acting suspiciously around her. He was hardly able to stay in the same room as her, he could only handle it if there was at least two other people. As soon as the numbers dropped and they were alone, he'd begin making excuses, things like having to speak to crew members he'd seen minutes before or having to get something by RO, Chefo or Charge. She was sick of it; the two leading officers of a ship couldn't act this way. She decided that the next moment they were alone; she'd jump in, before he could make an excuse to leave and confront him about it. The only problem was waiting for such a moment to turn up.

She finally found her chance, the next day. It was early morning and they seemed to be the only two awake. She hadn't been able to sleep and had found him standing on the top deck of the ship, when she went up there to look out at the ocean. Her mind was full of thoughts of Will.  
'Sir' her voice, called softly towards his back 'why have you been avoiding me over the past couple of days' He turned round and look at her, her voice had shocked him, he hadn't noticed her presence.  
'Sir' she called again, her voice mixing with the wind  
'Kate, can we not have this conversation now' his voice cut sharply though the air  
'When are we going to have it then?' she cut back, her voice sounding of both anger and hurt that she had kept bottled up for years  
'Want to know what your problem is?' she asked 'You could never express your emotions, at least not when they had to do with me'  
'Really' he said, anger bubbling away below the surface.  
'Yeah' she said  
'You want to know what I'm feeling. I'm angry. I'm god damn furious at myself!'  
'Why?' she asked, her voice softer and gentler. She stepped in towards him, placing a warm hand on his fore arm 'Tell me'  
'I'm myself because I'm jealous' he started 'I'm jealous of you Kate. Don't think I didn't notice that you were glowing after you came back. You've gotten on with your life and I'm still pining over you.' He looked away from her, unable to meet her gaze after what he had just revealed.  
'Mike, it's not that simple' she started, but they never got to finish that conversation. At that moment the voice of the Navigator called from the bridge below.  
'Sir, we've just gotten word from NavCom. A woman and a young boy are missing off the coast, they want us to find then.' They both raced down the stairs.  
'Did they say anything else Nav?' Mike asked  
'The woman's name is Nicole Summers and the boy's called William,' she answered. At that moment Kate's heart clenched in her chest. Her son and her best friend were missing. 

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

She couldn't believe it. They were missing. Her son was missing. Her heart started beating faster and faster, her breathing got fast and shallow. She was starting to get light headed. Her throat was closing in.

'Kate, are you okay?' he asked, watching in 2IC. She had suddenly gone white in the face, as though her worst nightmare was coming true, her fists clenched and her breathing fast and shallow.

'I'm fine, Sir' Kate answered, trying to keep her cool but failing tragically. The last thing she needed now was to let him know that she was personally attached. She wanted to keep her private life just that, private. Pictures of Will kept drifting into her mind, of his small little body being bashed around by the waves. _Stop! _Her logic had kicked in; this won't help you find him. Keep calm, Kate! She stepped forward towards the window, to try and hide her face from the man, who could read her emotions as his own, well at least he used to be able to. His voice, pulled her out of her thoughts.

'I've just been speaking to Nav Com,' he started, 'apparently, the woman and the boy set out early yesterday morning and they've just been reported missing. According to the source, they were going to go fishing and it seems as though they may have had some problems. Apparently, the woman is not the boy's natural mother but she is listed as one of his legal guardians. The real mother is in the Navy, actually.'

'Poor things,' said Nav, 'I hope they're alright, it was quite windy last night.'

'What I'd like to know is who the mother is.' Said Mike

'I'm sure it's not anyone you know, Sir' said Kate, her pulse racing, the last thing she needed at the moment was for Mike to find out, it was their son lost in the waves.

The ship proceeded along to coastline, searching for any sign of the missing fisherman. Kate was becoming increasingly anxious, she was still as pale as a ghost and had hardly said a word since her conversation with Mike in the early hour's of the morning. The crew was determined to find them, especially after finding out that the boy was a son of their own. Kate, Mike, Nav and Buffer were all standing on the bridge, looking for any sign of them.

'Sir, dead ahead' the Buffer said, pointing at a person in a life jacket floating in the water.

'Are they alone?' Kate asked, hoping that this was not the case

'It looks like it,' the Buffer replied

'X, get to ready to recover by swimmer' said the CO

'Yes, Sir' she said, trying to do her job while her heart had almost stopped beating in her chest, hoping that at least one of them was safe.

They lifted a woman onto the ship, she was crying almost uncontrollably. She stepped forward, and lay eyes on Kate, and stopped for a moment, surprised. The tears then came, heavy and fast again as she latched herself onto Kate. Kate welcomed her into her arms, every though the woman was dripping wet. She whispered comforting words into her ear, as she longed to hear what had happened to her son, through the words of her best friend, the woman she trusted most in the world.

'Kate, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' The woman sobbed. The crew looked on amazed at this, how did Kate know this woman?

'What happened?' Kate whispered but everyone was listening, watching, wanting to know

'A wave took him Kate. I tried to save him, I tried but the current was too strong.' Nicky sobbed. Kate looked up, and noticing their audience and began to carry Nicky away. This was a personal moment between to good friends; it was not something she wanted people to witness. She took Nicky below and told all the boys that she needed the chance to talk to her alone for a while. They seemed to respect her wishes because none of the followed her below the decks.

'I wonder what all that was about?' the Nav asked, as the crew rose up the stairs to the bridge.

'I'm not sure.' Replied Buffer 'but it was quite odd.'

'Do you have any idea, Sir?' asked the Swain as he turned to Mike.

'None, but that woman was embracing Kate like a sister or at least a very good friend' said Mike

'Didn't you say that the boys mother was in the Navy?' asked Nav

'X? A mother? She couldn't possibly be a mother, could she?' Buffer asked

'I'm not sure, Buff. I think I'll have to go and speak to her. Plus she probably needs a hand with that woman, she was down right inconsolable.' Said Mike and with that he left, with the rest of his crew looking after him, unasked questions about their XO lingering on their minds.

When he entered the room, he expected Kate to be still consoling the woman, but Kate was sitting there, still starring out into space. The woman was curled up asleep.

'Kate?' he called her gently, she looked so fragile at the moment, as though if he spoke too loudly, she'd break

'He's gone' she whispered, 'my son has gone.'

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Had she just said her son was gone, he thought to himself. Her son, so the crew had been right, it was Kate's son. She had begun crying next to him, salty tears running down her face. She obviously loved this child. It was weird, he thought, that she hadn't mentioned that she had a son before, unless. She wouldn't do that would she? She wouldn't hide his own son from him? Would she? Her crying was getting louder, and he walked over to her and picked her up, so that she was cradled in his arms.

'Shhh Katie, its okay' he whispered, trying to calm her. Her crying slowed and she lay still, feeling comfort in the arms of the father of her son. She looked up at him and he took the opportunity to ask her the question that had been weighing on his mind,

'Kate is he mine?' he asked. She said nothing, but got up and walked away. She couldn't deal with this at the moment. All she could think about was her son, it didn't matter that Mike was angry at her; all that mattered was that she found her son.

The bridge was suddenly quiet when she entered, as though they had all been talking about her mere moments before. She hated being the subject of gossip, couldn't people just mind their own business. If no else here was determined to find her boy, then she'd just have to do it herself.

'Nav, plot an area where you think the boy could be' Kate said taking over the role of XO once again, she would find him, even if she lost her job for it, she'd find him. A couple of silent minutes later, the Nav approached her with a map. There was an area of about one hundred square kilometres mapped out. One section had a small red circle around it.

'Mam, I believe it's most likely he was blown into this area' she said, pointing to the red circle.

'Alright, Nav, we'll search there first' said a voice form behind her, the CO had returned and he didn't look happy. Kate picked up her binoculars and headed for the upper deck, she needed some space from him and here would be the place where she would be able to see her son if he came into view.

She had been standing in the same spot for almost two hours, staring out for any sign of her son in the water. She wasn't disturbed much up here, most of the crew were looking from lower down, to try and keep out of the wind, but she didn't mind it so much. There had been no sign of him. A voice from behind her

'Kate, come down and have something to eat.' Mike spoke, he may be angry at her, but she needed him at the moment and he wasn't going to stand by and watch while she drove herself into the ground.

'I'm not hungry,' she replied facing him, 'I just have to find him Mike.' She looked so desperate, as though she'd give anything to find her son. He turned away form her, something had caught his eye in the distance. He couldn't make out what it was. He picked up his binoculars, and looked out. There was a boy in a life jacket being bounced up and down in the waves.

'Kate, look' he said pointing. She turned and looked out, there was her son. She took a breath, the first one she felt like she had taken in hours.

'You found him Mike' she smiled at him. He called hands to rescue by swimmer once again, and they both walked down the stairs to the deck, where Will would be arriving any minute.

A small blond headed boy was placed on the deck of the ship. He looked scared but he was reassured when a familiar face came into view. He raced for her and flung into her arms, crying. This was the second time in so many hours Kate held a wet body in her arms.

'Mummy' the boy sobbed. He was small and fragile in Kate's arms and he was shivering. God she had been so worried, but he was alright now. He was safe in her arms.

'It alright, baby.' She soothed 'its okay now, I've got you.' She kissed his hair and held him strongly to her, trying to calm him, wanting to be able to take away his pain. The crew were once again, standing and watching Kate embrace her son. No one had known she was a mother, perhaps if they did; they would have been kinder to her in the beginning. After the ordeal she had just been through, they all had a new found respect for her. They began to clear away, to give Kate and her son some room. Both the boy and Kate had been exceptionally brave over the last couple of hours.

Mike stood watching Kate mother the small boy, who was still sobbing in her arms. They was a tenderness about the way she looked him over, that made him realise that if they hadn't found him, Kate would have lost it. This boy seemed to be her life. They was still a question that lingered in his mind, was the child his? It seemed highly likely that this fact was true; Mike had noticed that the boy was of the right age and he had his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

He couldn't believe it, he had a son. A son who he had never known about, whose whole life he had missed out on. He had missed Kate when she was pregnant with his child; he had missed the big tummy and the swollen feet. He had missed his son's first kick in the womb, his birth into the world. He had missed his first smile, his first words, his first steps. He had missed his first day of school. He'd missed all the moments he had dreamed about experiencing if he ever had children. Mike felt suddenly angry at Kate, she'd purposely not told him. She'd had plenty of opportunity to, but she hadn't breathed a word. He thought he could trust her. He looked up again at her, holding their son in her arms. His couldn't look at her in that moment; he had to get away before he lost it and shouted out their entire past in front of the crew or more importantly in front of their son. He shot her once look before he disappeared down the stairs to the bottom levels of the ship. He needed some space to get his emotions together.

When she had fallen pregnant five years ago she'd had been a mess. The pain of her break up with Mike seemed to intensify a million times when the doctor had announced she was pregnant. She had gone home and cried for hours, which she found she was doing a lot after she had found his note. At first she had considered aborting the baby, as she cried away her pain. When she finally couldn't cry any more, she lay there still, with her hand on her stomach and she swore she could feel something growing in there. It was at that moment that she realised that it was another person's life at stake, that this tiny person inside of her was worth more to her than almost anything in the world. It was that moment when she first realised she loved this child. She spent the following nine months enjoying every moment of her pregnancy. Even though she was alone, it was like this baby was a symbol of her and Mike's love and she felt a connection to him every time the baby kicked. When finally their son entered the world that winter, she missed Mike more than ever but she held her son gently in her arms and she vowed that she would protect him from all the hardship and pain she had ever experienced. As time passed and their son grew she began to realise that there was something missing their lives and when she first boarded the Hammersley and looked into the eyes which had passed onto her son, she realised that the thing missing was a person and that person was Mike. She couldn't bring herself to tell him though, in her mind she made excuses about never finding the right time but she knew it was a lie. The thought that he had left her once, lingered in her mind and she couldn't bear for him to leave her son like that. The memories, even though they were five years old, they still hurt.

He went into the recreational room and sat down. The woman, whose name her remembered to be Nicky, was still asleep but barely. She was stirring and by the time he had sat there for a little over two minutes, she was fully awake. Her green eyes stared at him,

'So you're Mike?' she questioned. He nodded.

'How did you know?' Mike asked

'I'd recognise those eyes anywhere, they're Will's eyes.' She replied

'Did you find him?' she asked suddenly, a look of horror dawning on her face.

'Yeah, he's with Kate' he said bitterly, as she breathed a sigh of relief

'Are you okay? She asks after surveying him. Realisation dawns on her, 'you just figured he was yours didn't you?' He nodded. What was with this woman, he wondered, how was she able to look at him and see what he was thinking?

'This must be hard for you' she said 'I know you must be angry.'

'Angry,' he said, losing control, having to let out some of the emotion that was pumping through his veins like poison 'Oh course I'm not angry! I have a five year old son whose mother just happened to forget to mention. Why would I be angry! I mean, she must have thought that it wasn't very important to tell me, I mean it's not like it's a big deal I have a son I've never even met.' He spat. He sat back and took a deep breath, will Nicky looked utterly shocked.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered 'I just had to let that out.'

'I guess it's better to let these things out' she smiled

'How do you know her?' he asked, interested.

'I met Kate when the morning after Will was born. My friend had just had a baby and I went to visit her in hospital. On my way out, I saw this young blonde haired woman, crying as she held a tiny baby in her arms. She didn't even to notice me approach; she was too busy being absorbed in her child.' Nicky began.

'You met the day after he was born?' Mike asked, amazed. Nicky nodded.

'Will was so tiny, he was two weeks early, you know. Anyway, I went up to Kate and asked what the matter was. She was weak in that moment, perhaps the weakest I have ever seen her. Anyway, while her guard was down she blurted out about how she was alone but how she wished the baby's father was there. Well, I couldn't help myself, I was interested and I urged her to go on. She told me about how the man she had loved had left her with even a goodbye and about how she still loved him.' Nicky paused as Mike looked away ashamed. He'd always looked back on the moment he left Kate as the worst mistake of his life, and now as the situation with his son came into light, he felt ten times worse about it.

'Anyway from that moment we were the best of friends, Kate has been the best friend I could ever have and I love Will as if he were my own. I look after him while she's out at sea, and every possible moment she has when she's ashore she comes and sees him.'

'You've obviously been a good friend to her and Will' he said, but underneath he was still hurting from the fact that Kate had neglected to tell him about Will.

'Mike,' said Nicky 'I know that this doesn't make the fact that she didn't tell you, hurt less, but you never had to see her through the bad times. She was so anxious when she got posted under you. Mike, she still loves you, I'm sure of it.' He nodded.

'Thanks for the reassurance but really the only person I should be speaking to about this is Kate,' he said and with that he got up and went in search of the woman who had just broken his heart.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Kate took her son down below to her and Nikki's cabin to see if she could find him some dry clothes. She'd bought him a pair of shorts and a shirt the last time they were at base, but hadn't had the chance to give them to him yet. They would do. A smile seemed to be permanently on her face, for the moment, the happiness at finding her son alright, over shining her and Mike's previous argument and the cold look he had shot at her after he had disappeared below after seeing his son for the first time. She should have expected he'd act like this; she should have realised that he wouldn't take it well as he had in all her fantasies. She'd have to tell him the truth now. It would mean that both of them would have to got back and revisit memories of past times. Will was warmer now after he had some fresh clothes on, his shivering seemed to have stopped. He had gotten over the shock, excitement at seeing his mother and being aboard a ship seemed to have over taken his fright. His small face was shining with tiredness but he seemed unwilling to go sleep.  
'Mummy,' he asked 'do you think I could have something to eat?' Kate smiled down at her son,  
'Of course,' she said, 'what would you like?'  
'I'm not sure,' he replied  
'Maybe a sandwich?' she suggested. He nodded.  
'Alright, baby. I'll go see if Chefo is busy.' She tussled his hair got up and went to leave, 'Stay here'  
'Mummy, do you think I could come with you?' Will asked with a small voice, as his mother began to walk away.  
'Well, just the once' she said as she turned back, smiled and picked up his hand. She led him hand in hand to the galley, where Buffer, ET, Nav, Spider and Chefo were talking. They all smiled at her as they both came into view.  
'Chefo, are you busy?' Kate asked, 'Will, here is a little hungry.'  
'Well, I think I have time to whip him up something' replied the chef, in his usual tongue in cheek tone. He bent down, so he was level with Will,  
'Now, young man,' he smiled 'What can I get you?' Will looked up at the chef, scared.  
'It's okay Will' Kate whispered, her hand squeezing his shoulder.  
'Could I please have a Vegemite sandwich?' Will asked in a quiet voice. The crew, who had been watching on laughed. Chefo smiled.  
'You know what Will, I think that will be okay' he said. The crew made room for Will to sit down on the bench.  
'I never knew you had a son' Nav said, her need for information getting the better of her.  
'No one did, Nav' said Kate 'I prefer to keep my private life, just that private.'  
'It must have been hard for you.' Buffer said  
'It was, but Nicky was fabulous.' Kate smiled 'It's just hard being away from home sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out on his life' she sighed  
'He's gorgeous' a familiar voice said from behind her.  
'Well, it wasn't all my doing' she said as she turned to face Mike. He looked down at her, his hard expression softening as he saw the pain in her eyes. The anger still burned away inside him, but he decided to drop his questions for the moment, and to wait for a quiet moment when they were alone later. He wouldn't make her day worse after what she had suffered.

Mike turned to his son, who was sitting quietly eating the sandwich Chefo had made for him. The boy was quite content to sit quietly eating for a while, keeping to his own thoughts.  
'Are you okay?' Mike asked his son, quietly. His eyes looking down on him gently, 'You had quite an adventure today.' Will looked up at the man; he felt a sudden connection to him, like this man was someone significant. He was taller than anyone Will had ever remembered meeting.  
'I'm okay.' Answered Will, 'I lost my fish though,' he said sadly. Mike laughed,  
'Oh well, buddy. How about I promise to take you fishing again soon, so you can catch a big fish?' Mike suggested  
'Yes, please' Will smiled.  
'By the way, I'm Mike,' he said as he shakes the small boy's hand. It was small in his, but still warm. This boy was his own flesh and blood, and it was with this first touch that Mike realised he loved his son, even if he didn't really know him, he loved him. He guessed this is what they called love at first sight.  
'Will,' said the boy as he yawned. 'Nice to meet you,'  
'So how old are you?' Mike asked. Will held up 5 pudgy fingers,  
'But I'll be 6 in July' he said, smiling.  
'Is that so?' Mike said.

Kate stood and watched as her son looked up at his father admiringly, taking in his every word. Her heart filled with sadness as she realised that her son had no idea that this charming man was in fact his father. She had never realised that Mike was so good with children; he seemed to be a natural. God, she wished he had been there to watch Will grow; he'd missed the special moments. Every time they had reached a significant moment in Will's life, Kate wished Mike was there, but she didn't think she could handle it if she let him in and he left them again. She had to protect her son. She watched as Mike picked up Will and spun him around and around, his laughter bouncing off the walls. As he sat him back down on the counter, Will yawned and Kate decided that it was time he had some sleep, after all it had been a big day.

'Baby, come on.' Kate said, stepping forward from the shadows she had been watching from, 'come on, time for bed.' Will sighed knowing from experience that it was best not to argue.  
'Mummy, can Mike come with us to tuck me in?' Will asked, innocently. It was an understatement to say he had taken a shine to Mike. Kate smiled. Mike picked up his son gently off the counter and followed Kate as she led them towards her cabin. Will settled in his father's arms, enjoying the feeling of Mike holding him tightly to his chest. He let the waves of tiredness sweep over him. By the time he was safely tucked in his mother's bed five minutes later, with his parents standing watching him, he was fast asleep, his tiny face looking pure and innocent as he explored the land of dreams.

Mike looked up from his sleeping son to the woman standing next to him. She looked emotionally exhausted. Her blond hair was falling out of its usual tight plait and there were wisps of it framing her face. She seemed to feel his gaze, because she looked and their eyes met. He needed to hear what she had to say and he needed to hear it now.  
'Kate, we need to talk,' he whispered softly. She nodded and they both took one last look at their sleeping son before leaving the room and heading towards his cabin.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Here's part 7 

They stood near each other in his cabin, an awkward silence filling the small room, engulfing both of them. Finally, Mike spoke, breaking the silence.  
'He's mine, isn't he?' he asked his voice almost so quiet that she had to strain to hear what he had said. She knew it was coming to this, she had expected but that didn't stop the question from knocking her for six. She always dreamed of telling him, but in those dreams he had never met Will, had never had the chance to put the pieces together for himself and was most definitely looking at her like he was now, as though she had torn his heart into a million pieces. Her eyes met his and he silently begged her to put him out of his misery. She nodded, ever so slightly, as salty tears she had not realised had formed ran down her face.

His heart almost burst with pain in that second, he felt betrayed by the person he cared most about. It was like a million tiny knives all puncturing his heart at the same time, with one tiny nod she had conformed that Will was his son. A fact almost too shocking for him to believe in that moment; not because he didn't love Will but because he did. He had missed out on his life and it was all her fault.  
'You never told me.' He said his tone abrupt and harsh, 'What you never thought that it was important to mention to me that I had a son, because really it is an insignificant detail!'  
'Mike' she said, her voice weak and unusually quiet.  
'Don't Mike me' He cut her off. 'You had so many chances, had so many opportunities to tell me but not a word'  
'Mike, please' she begged the tears still streaming down her face; she was struggling to regain control.  
'I don't care what you've got to say. Nothing will excuse the fact that you lied. You lied to me Kate.' She felt as if she could almost see his broken heart as he looked at her. At that moment the intercom near his desk burst into life. The voice of the Nav clearly floated through the room.  
'Sir, could you come up to the bridge please?' A silence filled the room as the meaning of the words sunk in. He looked up at her, with his eyes so full of sadness. Without a word, he left her standing there in the middle of his cabin.

She stood there for a minute trying to hide away all the emotions and return to the role of calm and controlled Lieutenant Kate McGregor, but she was unable to think of anything but Mike. The conversation was playing over and over again in her mind and she couldn't seem to get the image of his broken hearted look out of her head. It was too much, she couldn't seem to stop the warm tears from pouring down her face once again as she released all the emotion that she had been carrying around. She sunk to the ground, her knees hitting the floor hard as they gave way from under her. Her body shook with each sob. She just sat there and cried and cried, her hot tears running down her face. Her hands shook as she tried to brush them away, her sobs echoing around the empty room. She was alone in that second, more alone than she had ever felt on the Hammersley before.

An hour later she had no more tears to cry. She was still sitting on the floor, her legs spread out in front of her and she leaned back against Mike's bed. She had to be on watch in ten minutes, she realised as she looked up at the clock on his desk. She had ten minutes to pick herself up and control herself before she had to face everyone again. Kate just wanted this day to be over, she wanted to go back to base and take her son home and lie in bed and sleep with him wrapped safely in her arms. She stood up and her legs felt like jelly beneath her, she gripped the wall quickly to stop herself losing her balance. She took a deep breath; it filled her lungs completely for a second before she slowly let it out. She lifted her head and squared her shoulders, only four more hours and then you can go home a small voice in her head assured her and she finally brought herself to leave the safety of his cabin and come face to face with him once again.

He looked up as she entered the cabin, he didn't know if he could stand seeing her in that moment. His insides still burned with anger when he thought of their conversation but there was something else now that overpowered this anger and it was hurt. She had broken him. His entire life as he knew it had been turned upside down, nothing was sure at the moment. Normally her closeness comforted him, but at that moment he couldn't even look at her, it hurt too much.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys,

Thanks for all the kind words you have said for this stroy so far. I know you have had a wait a while for this but I had a huge case of writers block. I know its short but there should be more up soon.

By the way, for the purpose of this story it takes a while to get back to base like 5-8 hours rather than 1 as it is in the show

There was definitely something weird going on, concluded the Nav as she looked between the form of her CO and her XO. They had been ignoring each other since the X had entered the cabin. When Mike had first entered she knew something was wrong, his eyes had lost their usual shine and the smile he gave her was forced. He was the total opposite from his usual self. When Kate entered, the Nav immediately knew that something between them was causing this bad mood. The X's eyes were bloodshot and her face was red, as though she had just been crying. She knew there was something going on ever since Kate had arrived. She had noticed the awkwardness the first couple of days, then as they more spent more time around each other she noticed how they seemed to more comfortable. Nav noticed the secret glances that they through at one another when they thought the other wasn't looking. She noticed how they always seemed to be near each other, as though it hurt to be too far away. She noticed how they brightened up when the other entered the room and how Mike made excuses to touch her, to brush his hand against hers or to the guide the small of her back as the travelled along the winding corridors of the Hammersley. At first she thought that it was woman's intuition that picked up the signals but as time passed she was sure the men aboard had noticed their connection too. Nav wasn't sure what their history had been, Kate was always a private person and you couldn't get much out of her and she had never had enough courage to confront the CO about it. It didn't really matter anyway, they were professionals but the question always lingered on her mind.

These last couple of days had thrown so many things into light, who knew that Kate had a son? It did explain her absences from the pub though. There had been an interesting moment between Kate and Mike when Will had first arrived on the ship. The little boy was crying and dripping wet, sobbing into his mother's arms and Mike stood there watching, he looked envious of Kate, almost like he felt like he should have been part of that moment. Maybe he should have, after all there was a connection between Mike and the boy, that much was evident to Nikki as she watched them in the galley. There was something there that she just couldn't put her finger on, whatever it was it was the reason behind the way there were treating each other at the moment.

When Kate had entered the bridge Mike had turned around briefly to look at her. Their eyes had locked for a second, before he turned away from her and began to stare of the window. She continued to stare at him for a second after he had turned away, frozen. Why was it he was able to make her feel worse than she already was with one simple look? She crossed her arms closely to her chest as she stood looking out as the ship seemed to cleanly cut through the water, so no one would notice her hands shaking. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't had anything to eat in the last 24 hours but she couldn't eat. Images of her son, of their son, kept floating through her head along with the words Mike had said to her. She looked up again at his back and she felt as if she was suffocating. She needed space and with that she picked up her binoculars and escaped to the upper floor.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. The sequence was repeated over and over in his mind as he tried to clear his thoughts of her. He needed to be calm; to set the example but as always when it came to her nothing was ever easy. He knew that he was doing a lousy job at keeping it all inside, he just hoped that nothing drastic happened on their trip back. For some reason he just couldn't get rid of the anger and the hurt that boiled up inside him, it was like it had a mind of its own and it wanted was to be let free from the mind that was containing it. When she had arrived he had looked up and it was like his heart was going to break into more pieces than it already had. He couldn't face her then, he knew that if he didn't stop looking then he'd break and he couldn't have that. He was supposed to be strong, after all what decent Navy man would be seen crying while on watch? Mike sighed, and with that he realised that he had to face her now, before they got to port. He had to finish their previous conversation. He had to know why.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

The wind was strong and it blew her hair around her face. She looked out as the waves rolled, causing white bubbles to come up to the surface every time they hit a solid surface. The sky was that grey white colour she hated, it was one of those days where it couldn't decide whether it wanted to rain or not. She hated weather like this, it made her feel depressed, but at the moment she didn't really mind it. In fact, in that moment the sky mirrored her emotions and she was grateful for it. She didn't think she could face sunshine at the moment. Five years ago she had faced the best and worst year of her life. She had fallen in love with the most gorgeous man and she had spent six months with him, treasuring every moment they had together. Then she had had her heart broken when Mike had left her and found out that she was alone, and pregnant with his child. She had always thought that moment would never be topped as the worst of her life, but she was wrong she realised as she stood there in the wind. She felt a warm hand on her back and she turned to face him, his face was empty, but his eyes revealed his emotions to her perfectly. They were begging her to say something but she needed at that moment was to be close to him. She needed to feel his arms around her and breath him in. She lent into him, placing her head in the hollow space between his shoulder and his chin, her nose almost to his chin. She felt him tense under her.  
'Mike, please,' she whispered 'just hold me.' He didn't seem to protest after that, his arms wrapped around her and held her close to him. She hid her face in his chest, snuggling in. His smell enveloped her, comforting her. His heart beat steadily under her ear as the tears fell again. She couldn't believe that she could turn to mush so quickly, she was supposed to be a strong leader but all she seemed to be able to do at the moment was cry.

He ascended the stairs and saw her standing there, staring out at the waves. She looked really fragile just letting the wind blow her hair about. There was something about her physical form that made her look small as well. He walked over to her and placed his hand in the middle of her back to get her attention, words were too over rated for that moment. She turned at his touch and just looked up at him for a second. He tried tell her that he needed an explanation but the words wouldn't come so he let his eyes do the talking. He could see the unshed tears behind her eyes but his insides still stung with hurt. It was at that moment she did the thing he hadn't expected, she leant in to him, placing her head into the gap near his shoulder. He didn't know what to do, but he held her whisper and he couldn't help himself. He closed his arms around her small form and held her to him. It was so familiar, they molded together perfectly, her curves molding into his. He felt a wetness on his chest and looked down to see the tears being released, he squeezed her closer to him. In that moment, it didn't matter that they were the source of each others pain. It only mattered that they were battling through it together. There was still the tiny voice in his brain looking for answers but he knew that it would be unwise to push her at the moment; he knew that it wouldn't be long until she told him the truth.

The tears finally stopped once again and she let go of him. He deserved to hear the truth now, she realised even if it was painful.  
'I'm so sorry, Mike' she said her voice gravelly from not being used. 'I wanted to tell you, I really did but I was scared.'  
'I had a right to know' he said, his voice was forced as though he was trying to rid it of all emotion.  
' When you left, five years ago, I was devastated. It was all over. I thought you were the one Mike and you left without even a real goodbye. Do you have any idea what that feels like?' She paused, 'when I found out I was pregnant I didn't know what to do. The first couple of days I thought about my options, and I decided I would terminate, but Mike I couldn't do it. I couldn't destroy our child. I wanted to contact you I really did but I couldn't bring myself to'  
'Kate,' he started  
'Let me finish.' She said, 'I have to let this out, its been bottled up for to long.' He nodded to her.  
'When I saw you six months ago, I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep Will a secret much longer, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. I was scared Mike. I was scared that if I let you in, you'd leave again and that you'd break my heart again Mike. That you'd break Will's heart. I won't let you do that!' She turned away from him then, and looked out at the waves once again. He stood there silent for a second as he took in her words. They hit him, hard. All his previous anger had disappeared but the feeling of complete and utter sadness still lingered in his stomach, filling his every pore with misery.  
'Kate, I'm sorry.' He sighed, 'I'm so, so sorry. I always wish I hadn't left you, ever since I've looked back and wished that I hadn't been stupid. I ran away from the problem, because I was scared. I was scared that I was getting too close. I was scared because I realised that I loved you, Katie.' He words mixed with the wind as he spoke to her back.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

omg its been soo long since i updated this so to everyone out there-

I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!

i've had really bad writers block and i'm not very happy with this story. i'm thinking about writing another piece to maybe finish this a little more. let my know what u guys think

His words repeated over and over again in her mind, he loved her. He had loved her and so he had left. There was something about the information that he left because he was scared that both frightened her and comforted her. It showed her that even though he appeared to be this great, larger than life man who could handle anything, he turned away at the first glimpse of happiness. It also made her realise that just like her, he was flawed. He was scared, and in her mind that made him seem attractive. He was scared, he was fragile and so was she and it was the knowledge that they both felt these emotions because of the other that made her love him even more.

She turned back to him, watching as the wind blew his hair about. She had always loved his hair; she loved how it always seemed to have that one tiny bit that couldn't sit flat.  
'I wish that I hadn't left. I wish that I hadn't been such a coward. I've always looked back and regretted it. I did want to come back; I spend everyday thinking about you. How you were; what you were doing. I missed you' Mike started 'I missed you being there when I woke up in the morning and I missed kissing you goodnight when I went to bed. I missed holding your hand, I missed your laugh. God I missed you.' She leant up and put her hand over his mouth, her fingers touching his soft, warm lips. He stopped talking. She smiled.   
'Mike, you're rambling' she said. She still had her hands over his lips, not realising they were there, and she felt him smile under her hand.  
'Sorry' she mumbled removing it, trying to ignore the feeling of disappointment that had pooled in her stomach.   
'I guess we'll have to work this out' he said. 'I do want to get to know Will. I want to try again. I still love you' She couldn't stop the smile that formed on her lips when he said that, it was as though she had just found the missing piece of the puzzle. 

It had just slipped out, he hadn't meant to say that he still loved her, he wasn't even sure if it was true himself at the time; but now looking back he realised for knew for sure that it was true. Someone had said to him once that it was surprising how honest you can be when you don't think about what's coming out of your mouth, he'd never believed that until now. He always had trouble expressing his emotions, it was almost as though he thought that any tiny show of affection would tint in the image of his manliness or something at least that was the psychologist's opinion, the one he had been forced to see after an incident where one of his crew had been injured. That was definitely not true when it came to Kate, sure it took him a while to get there but once he started getting it out, it was like a dam had burst inside of him and he felt the sudden urge to release every single emotion inside of him, as though they were deadly poisons that had to be gotten rid of as soon as they were discovered. They stood in silence for a while, not needing any words. 

The Hammersley was resting on the pier, reaching home once again. It seemed so long since Mike and Kate's conversation a few hours ago, both had been busy dealing with a couple of problems. A cloud of awkwardness had seemed to appear between them, ensuring that whispers of something happening between them had flooded the ship. Everyone seemed to what to know what was happening. All operations were in order with ship and the crew were starting to pile off, on their way to the pub or to see their loved ones ashore. Kate was standing on the deck with Nicky, Will wrapped in her arms. He was still asleep, his warm breath steady on her chest. Kate looked up and saw Mike walking from the ship, she realised that she had to tell him now. He didn't even seem to notice her calling him. She ran after him, Will still wrapped in her arms.

'Mike?' she called after him. He finally turned round, worry lines evident on his forehead.  
'Yes' he said, looking down at her, taking in the sleeping form of Will in her arms. 'What's wrong?' he asked.  
'Nothing' she replied. They stood there in silence for a moment, both looking out at the water.  
'Kate, I'm trying to not push you here, I'm trying to give you time but it's hard when you keep sending me mixed messages' he said and turned away  
'Mike?' she tried again, calling after his back. 'I love you too'

k well let me know if u want another fluffly piece to really round this off, if not then that was officially

THE END!!!!


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